Abuse seems less painful when you can blame it on their story 
Rather than the man. 
Your arms are used to holding up these pieces. 
You're used to being there when times are rough. 
It's familiar. 
When he hurts you. 
So, it's ok. 
You know how to deal.
You know that his anger is really just fear 
Caused by someone other than yourself.
Because it's not really your fault at all.
But it is always your fault
You trigger him, 
You want him to feel strong 
So, it's ok.
Just keep reminding him that he's not his pain. 
You can take the abuse. 
You can be strong for both of you. 
He's just weak sometimes 
Even though you would never say that to his face.
You don't want to upset him. 
He gets upset easily. 
And you're just really sensitive. 
You understand him. 
He's just upset because you trigger him. 
Because he hasn't learned to settle his story.
His last girlfriend fucked him up.
And you want him to know that he's not his pain
You just trigger him
You love him. 
And he knows that 
Even if it doesn't always show. 
He just needs a little more time to understand that. 
He just needs a little more time to calm down. 
He just needs something to eat.
He just had a bad day.
He just has a hard time dealing with disappointment.
He just has a hard time moving on.
He just needs space. 
You just don't understand him like I do

What is a body if not durable.
You are stronger than you think. 
You have been beaten  
Sent three times to the hospital this year. 
You've endure more pain than any grade school bully 
After he goes home to show his drunk dad his report card. 
You woman, 
Take it all. 
And sometimes he rapes you 
But it was because he needed you. 
You said no too many times. 
He was scared that you didn't love him anymore. 
You understand. 
He is just misunderstood. 
People just don't get it. 
No one knows him like you do 
So they don't see the big picture.   

What are your tears, 
When others suffer too. 
Too much pain 
There are no tears left. 
He only cries in front of you. 
You haven't cried for years. 
Or maybe you cry everyday now. 
But you don't like to cry in front of him 
It upsets him 
You wish he could see how much he hurts you 
But you don't want to be blamed for his guilt

He drinks a lot. 
He has a temper 
Just like his father 
Just like your father. 
Just like you do under lock and key
Sometimes alcohol is a good chaser to the bad taste of pain 
It's the only time you feel comfortable being yourself around him.

You don't like to talk about it anymore.
In fact we don't talk about anything. 
I haven't seen you in a few months 
You never call.
I wish you would just leave him. 
I wish it was that easy. 
I wish you knew how much I love you. 
I wish you knew how much it hurts to see you suffer. 
I wish I was stronger. 
I wish there was something I could do. 
RIP Domestic and Violently Abused 
Love Kills

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